Ah, where am I now!

Verse 8
Ah, where am I now!
When was it, or how
That I fell from my heaven of grace!
I am brought into thrall,
I am stript of my all,
I am banish’d from Jesus his face.

Verse 9
Hardly yet do I know
How I let my Lord go,
So insensibly starting aside,
When the tempter came in
With his own subtle sin,
And infected my spirit with pride.

Verse 10
But I felt it too soon,
That my Saviour was gone,
Swiftly vanishing out of my sight;
My triumph and boast
On a sudden were lost,
And my day it was turn’d into night.

Verse 11
Only pride could destroy
That innocent joy,
And make my Redeemer depart:
But whate’er was the cause,
I lament the sad loss,
For the veil is come over my heart.

Verse 12
Ah! Wretch that I am!
I can only exclaim,
Like a devil tormented within,
My Saviour is gone,
And has left me alone
To the fury of Satan and sin.

Verse 13
Nothing now can relieve,
Without comfort I grieve,
I have lost all my peace and my power:
No access do I find
To the friend of mankind;
I can ask for his mercy no more.

Verse 14
Tongue cannot declare
The torment I bear
(While no end of my troubles I see)
Only Adam could tell
On the day that he fell,
And was turn’d out of Eden like me.

Verse 15
Driven out from my God,
I wander abroad,
Thro’ a desert of sorrows I rove;
And how great is my pain,
That I cannot regain
My Eden of Jesus his love!

Verse 16
I never shall rise
To my first paradise,
Or come my Redeemer to see:
But I feel a faint hope,
That at last he will stoop,
And his pity shall bring him to me.

Hymnal/Album: Originally titled: "Hymns for One Fallen from Grace Part II." Introduced in Hymns and Sacred Poems Vol. 1, published by Charles Wesley (Bristol: Felix Farley, 1749). Published in The Poetical Works of John and Charles Wesley, Collected and Arranged by G. Osborn, Vol. 4 (London: Wesleyan-Methodist Conference Office, 1869), page 409.
Publishing: Public Domain