Verse 1
O that I could but pray!
How gladly should I bear
The burthen of this evil day
With the support of prayer!
Happy, could I but tell
To God my inward woe,
My depth of wickedness reveal,
My height of trouble shew.

Verse 2
Alas, he knows it all,
My whole of sin and grief;
Yet O, for help I cannot call,
I cannot ask relief:
Mountains on mountains rise,
And quite block up the way;
O that I could but lift my eyes,
O that I could but pray!

Verse 3
I struggle still, and fain
I would throw off my load,
Stir myself up, and strive again
To apprehend my God:
Farther he doth from me,
And farther still depart;
In vain I bow my feeble knee,
But not my stubborn heart.

Verse 4
My heart, alas, is dead,
Or unconcern’d it sleeps,
Or starts, of its own wish afraid,
And contradicts my lips;
Or with suggestions fraught
Too horrible to bear,
Breaks off the suit, to ’scape the thought
Of blasphemous despair.

Verse 5
Ah, whither, or to whom
Shall I for succour fly!
My Saviour bids the weary come,
Yet do I not draw nigh:
I would (but all in vain)
To him my wants display:
My heart abhors the fruitless pain,
I cannot, cannot pray.

Verse 6
But shall I then depart,
And cast away my hope,
Yield to a wretched, faithless heart,
And give my Saviour up?
No, no! That killing thought
Is worse than all I feel;
Still let me seek, tho’ clean forgot,
And want my Saviour still.

Verse 7
Dead as I am to God,
I will not him forego,
But patiently take up my load,
And suffer all my woe:
Forever will I lie,
Before his mercy seat,
Tho’ not allow’d with Mary I
To wash, and kiss his feet.

Verse 8
In quiet, calm distress
Will I my cross sustain,
Content to sigh for happiness,
And strive to pray,—in vain!
Unless he from his throne
The speechless mourner hear,
The deep, unutterable groan,
The loudly-silent tear.

Verse 9
He hears, he hears it now!
The anguish not-exprest,[1]
The struggle of my soul to bow,
And fall upon his breast!
Silence a voice hath found,
A cry is in the void,
Thro’ earth and heaven my woes resound,
And pierce the ears of God.

Verse 10
Believing against hope,
I will expect his grace,
Thro’ all the clouds of sin look up,
And wait to see his face:
Forgotten tho’ I seem,
He knows what I would say;
The darkness is not dark to him,
The night is clear as day.

Verse 11
I dare no longer doubt
His readiness to save;
Will Jesus therefore cast me out,
Because no good I have?
To sinners truly poor
Will God himself deny!
He cannot cast me out—no more
Than he again can die!

[1] Wesley changed “not-exprest” to “un-exprest” in 1756.