Whither, ah, whither shall I go

Verse 1
Whither, ah, whither shall I go
I who my Lord no longer know,
No longer feel the sprinkled blood,
Or find my happiness in God!

Verse 2
Back to the world shall I return,
Or court the objects of my scorn,
Again for sensual pleasures pine
That sordid happiness of swine?

Verse 3
Will a good name, or fortune fair
The life-imbittering loss repair,
Allay this tumult in my breast,
Or give my troubled conscience rest?

Verse 4
Can I the perfect beauties trace
Of Jesus in an human face?
Can all the creature’s boasted art
Supply his absence in my heart?

Verse 5
No, Saviour, no: it cannot be
That I shoud rest, bereav’d of Thee,
Shoud sooth with toys this aching breast,
Or e’er forget that I was blest.

Verse 6
Here then I all my hopes forego
Of comfort, or repose below,
I yield my punishment to bear,
I sink in calmness of despair.

Verse 7
Away ye dreams of vain relief,
Nor once disturb my sacred grief,
Or hope t’ assuage my misery,
For God alone shall comfort me.

Verse 8
Till then I hug my load of pain,
And meekly sad thro’ life remain;
And if at last his mercy save,
I drop my burthen in the grave.

Hymnal/Album: Originally titled: “Hymns for the use of a Backslider, J. H[utchinson]. [Hymn] I.” This hymn appears in the ca. 1786 manuscript “MS Miscellaneous Hymns.” This manuscript is part of the collection of the Methodist Archive and Research Centre in The John Rylands Library, The University of Manchester (accession number MA 1977/556, Charles Wesley Notebooks Box 2). Accessed through the website of The Center for Studies in the Wesleyan Tradition, Duke Divinity School. Published in S.T. Kimbrough Jr. and Oliver A. Beckerlegge, eds., The Unpublished Poetry of Charles Wesley, vol. 3 (Nashville: Kingswood Books, 1992), pages 260-61.
Publishing: Public Domain